A Love Letter For My Brother

I am sitting here staring at a blank screen

Eating a slice of chocolate cake in your honor

Even though I know you prefered tapioca pudding

You were my first best friend

I took you on all sorts of amazing adventures

Before you were old enough to say no

Like the time I took you on a little walk through the tundra

And scared the crap out of mom

You were He-Man and I was Skeletor, until you threw my Skeletor onto the roof, of course

And then when we got older, you taught me the fine art of sneaking out of the house at night

The one time I went with you, some other kids were out too

They were throwing toilet paper and eggs

And we had to hide in a ditch from the cops that were looking for them

I wish you had never moved away to California

Dad didn’t deserve you

You became a man at such a young age

You took such good care of yourself

You were my first best friend

When you moved away it broke my heart even though I understood why you did it

For you it was out of the frying pan and into the fire

But you never burned

You made that fire your strength

You eventually took that fire and fueled yourself

But the brightest flames tend to burn out the fastest

And just like that beautiful, hypnotizing flame

You were gone much too soon

So I sit here on the day of your birth

And I eat a slice of cake in your honor

And I reminisce on all the good times we had

And feel honored that I got to spend even that amount of time with you

Because you changed me for the better

Simply through your existence

I’ll keep looking for you

I’ll keep honoring you by being a good person and taking care of my family

That’s all you ever wanted to do, so I’ll do it too

I’ll go see the sights you wanted to see

Taste the exotic flavors you wanted to taste

Smell a breeze coming off an Antarctic glacier for you

See the sun rise and set on every continent just for you

I know you’ll be there in spirit next to me

And when no one is looking, I’ll simply fall apart once again

#birthday #death #featured #grief #Family #Ryan #spirituality #love #life #grieving